Sharing? No thank you

Tonight, as I was scanning my usual collection of blogs, I came across an entry on one that really brought out a variety of emotions in me, and just thought I'd take a few to type up a quick entry on it.

Over on the newest post at Sexual Dynamics: Memoirs of a Discerning Dom, the topic of sharing is discussed.

More specifically, he talks about sharing his mate (sub, I assume) intimately. I just want to copy and paste a few key notes from his entry and speak on them (note: I do not own any of what is quoted, it is from his blog, his property).

::"It’s the dynamics of two guys with a girl that intrigues me. And even then, only in a special way. I wouldn’t quite be so interested in meeting another couple. What I like is the idea of sharing with another guy a girl I am already involved with."::

--I suppose, at least for me, there would be less of an issue doing something of this nature with two guys rather than with two girls in the equation. Two girls, I think, could be a breeding ground for jealousy and insecurity, on my part.

::"I am the one who is in charge; superficially it may not always look like it, if I give him a free hand with her, but she is mine to give or withhold. She knows that. I may tell her to do things for him, or let him decide for himself what she should do, but I know and she knows she is doing it for me."::

--I am so very in the mindset of monogamy, that this just turns me off to even try and consider. Also, in the moment of play, it is easier to do something than it may have seemed outside of play. Or more basically, it's easier to expand and blur the line of limits (soft or hard) while in play, instead of outside of play. Before a play session, I may think "no way, I would never do that...no...uh-uh" and then get into the session, and decide that I feel comfortable trying that, and going with it. So perhaps in the moment, it would be easier to be *ok* with taking that sort of instruction, but in this "normal" moment, for me it feels like it would be terribly difficult.

::"So, I have her in mind for a threesome. We’ve talked it over, and in principle she’s willing. The assumption seems to be that she will do it to please me; but I also have to assume the act won’t be actually distasteful to her. I wouldn’t want to go through with it if I thought that."::

--I appreciate this part, especially recognizing that if the act would be distasteful to her, he wouldn't go through with it anyway. The consideration is sweet and thoughtful.

::"I suppose it’s natural for a girl to wonder, if he’s as keen on me as he says he is, why is he so eager to give me away to someone else? It’s a good question. The answer is partly that if she truly belongs to me sexually, as she says she does, then it’s a good proof of how far she is willing to submit to me if I can give her away, even if only temporarily. In a way it’s a sort of test for her; will she do this for me, despite the reservations she has?"::

--Yes, I would naturally wonder that if put in that situation. But, depending on my relationship with the one in charge, that questioning would adjust and change. And, with what the sub is comfortable with and striving for. If I had my heart set on reaching greater levels of submission, then this would be the test for it, without a doubt.

::"But it’s important to find the right guy, someone she feels comfortable with, someone who understands submissive women and will treat her with respect while using her for his pleasure, someone who is emotionally stable, experienced, someone she likes, and of course someone she’s attracted to."::

--Just like before with the tastefulness statement, this was nice to see. A nice thoughtfulness toward his partner, and her emotions, because emotions are a BIG thing in any sort of intimate situation, especially one like this with sharing.


The whole entry was a great read, and took me through some ups and downs. I was a bit disgusted, because that sort of situation is just so not me and what I would have to deal with normally. I hate the thought of being asked or TOLD that I would play with someone else...even for his pleasure. Even if I was told that I'm doing it for him, not the third individual. It would be hard for me to achieve.

The good points were whenever it was noted that the sub is taken into consideration, and things should be thought about for her as well. While the act would be for his pleasure, this ensures that she isn't a completely unwilling party. And, it is nice to establish that, to avoid any bad outcomes or breakdowns. Never a good thing.

The entry was good enough to prompt this one, beecause it provoked such a great response in me. I admire any who are secure and strong enough to be shared, and even do the sharing. I'm sure it is beautiful to see, but I could not do it myself~